


Bingo Square A5

by DramamineOnTopOfMe



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Betrothed, Chapter 2 is a rewrite, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Peter's Depression Kills Him a Little, Rewrite, Spideypool Bingo 2019, Wade Wilson Loves Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-06-24 16:59:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19727908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramamineOnTopOfMe/pseuds/DramamineOnTopOfMe
Summary: Spideypool Bingo: Betrothed.Wade's on a job when Peter's depression knocks him on his ass.He doesn’t like to talk about it, what Ben’s death did to him. The anxiety and depression that took over was nearly impossible to avoid. It’s his fault for never processing the trauma, he guesses. Everyone is going to leave him, he knows it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was in a weird zone when writing this, and last night while looking at it again, I didn't even recognize it as my own writing. Oof

Peter’s lying underneath his covers, scared to see the sunlight. At least if he pretends it’s still dark outside, he can say he still has time to sleep. It’s been a few days since his last proper nap. He’s been too busy in his head. 

Wade proposed a week ago. He should be ecstatic, but he’s not. Peter’s depression kicked in, and he hasn’t been able to shake the feeling that his betrothed is lying, the feeling that it’s all a cruel joke. If he pulls his head out from under the covers, Wade will be there, ready to say, “I was kidding, we’re actually breaking up.” 

Wade’s on a job, though, and has been for three days. So the likelihood of him showing up at home is next to none. 

Peter’s stomach screams for food; he hasn’t eaten since a few hours after Wade left. But the idea of getting out of bed is excruciating, and he doesn’t think he can bare it. 

He could end it right now, save Wade the trouble of telling him it’s all a hoax. Wade’s got weapons in the closet, and there are bottles of pills in the bathroom. 

It’d be so easy. 

But again, the idea of leaving his bed is paralyzing. 

“I don’t want to be alive right now,” he mumbles to himself. The sound of the front door opening catches his attention.

_ Wade’s home. He can’t see me like this, he can’t do this right now.  _

Peter jerks, sucking in sharply. The footsteps grow louder as his fiance gets closer. The door opens, and he sucks in another breath. 

“Pete, baby?” Wade’s voice is like a full body shock. “Are you doing okay under there?” 

Fear solidifies itself along his spine, “Please don’t.” 

“Don’t what, baby?” Wade pulls the covers away, breaking the illusion of nighttime. 

“Don’t break up with me. I can’t take it.” 

Wade’s under the covers and crowding his space in less than a second, “What are you talking about, Peter? I love you, I want to marry you! Why would I break up with you?” 

“It’s all a lie. You don’t want to be with me…” Peter’s voice drifts, losing track of his thoughts. Wade’s body is so warm, all he wants to do is curl up and sleep. But he can’t sleep! Sleep is when the nightmares start. 

“Peter, how long has it been since you’ve eaten, hmm?” 

“A few days.” 

Suddenly, Peter’s being pulled out from the covers and into strong arms. 

“Have you hurt yourself? Did you take your meds? Baby, you’ve gotta tell me,” Wade’s voice is soothing, but Peter knows well enough that the larger man is panicking right now. 

“Mmmh-” He hums, digging his face into Wade’s shoulder. He walks them to the living room and sets Peter on the couch. Big hands cradle his face, forcing Peter to look up. 

Wade’s eyes are clear and wide, staring back at him. “Peter, be honest with me. Am I going to find anything when I get you in the bath?” He should say something, tell him that it’s not that bad, that they’re already healing. 

Instead, Peter nods slightly. 

“Baby spider, what happened while I was gone?” 

“I don’t know.” He drops his eyes to the carpet and begins to play with the drawstring on his sweats. 

“Pete-” Wade shakes his wrist, getting his attention, “Peter, I want you to go sit at the table. I’m going to make food for you. Then we’re going to get in the bath, alright? We’re going to talk about this tomorrow. But right now I need to take care of you.” 

“You won’t need to when you break up with me.” 

“I’m not breaking up with you, baby boy. I love you too much.” Wade taps Peter’s cheek lightly with his left hand, “Come up, baby spider. Time for food.” 

He follows obediently, standing from the couch and padding to the table. Maybe the heartbreak will be less devastating if he does as he’s told, maybe Wade will go easy on him. 

Peter sits, making himself small enough to also put his feet on the chair, and rests his chin on his knees. “Pancakes sound good?” Wade ruffles his hair a little when passing by. 

“I’m not hungry.” 

“Pancakes, it is.” Wade doesn’t miss a beat, walking to the cabinet for the ingredients. Then he reaches for the fridge door, pulling it open to grab the milk, butter, and eggs. 

“So this job I was on, the guy was a Class-A asshole, right? Covered in gang tattoos, he had questionable white substances in his possession all the time.” Wade swings around, reaching for a mixing bowl and pan. He looks up at Peter for just a second before continuing, “Someone wanted to pay me to take out their daughter’s boyfriend. I guess they thought the guy was stealing money from them because he had a few questionable tattoos? Why is that always the response people have? Just because someone has ink, does not mean they’re a thug!” Wade forgets he’s holding the pan and bowl for a second, and waves his hand in the air, dropping one. It hits the tile with a clang. “Shit, sorry baby, I need to pay attention to the story. Anyways, I’m nearly done, have the headshot lined up and everything, when I get a text from the buyer saying that it’s the wrong guy! Apparently, the butler was caught on camera stealing money from their safe! So my job got canceled, and that’s why I’m home early.” 

Peter will always thank Wade for his ability to fill a silent space because, in the sunlight, the silence nearly drowns him. Hearing Wade move through the kitchen, spilling his guts about this job, is grounding. He’s going to miss this. 

His eyes drift to the window, where a dove sits on the windowsill, cooing. “It’s 7 am, baby spider if that’s what you’re wondering.” Wade chimes, the sound of an egg cracking behind him. 

He only hums in response, still looking at the window. Time passes quickly and not at all, Peter zoning in and out a few times to the sound of a pan sizzling. 

“Here you go, baby.” Wade sets a plate down in front of him, stacked high with pancakes. A glass of orange juice is placed next to it, “Eat up!” He stares at the plate, then, slowly, picks up his fork. He can see Wade watching intently out of the corner of his eye. 

A thought comes to his mind, “Nice of you to make breakfast before breaking my heart,” and he takes his first bite. God, these pancakes are divine! He better enjoy them if this is the last time he’s going to taste Wade’s cooking. He shovels in a few more bites, his mouth now full and bulging. 

“Peter, look at me.” Wade’s tone causes Peter to straighten his posture immediately. “I know the thoughts are taking over, but I love you so much, okay?” He taps the table in front of Peter once, harshly, keeping his attention. Peter swallows rapidly, trying not to choke. 

“I want it to go away, Wade. Just get it over with so I can feel better.” He wraps his right arm around himself, feeling small again. The movement causes Wade to get up, walk over, and hug him. 

“Let’s go get in the bath, huh? You can finish eating later.” Wade’s arms secure more tightly around him, lifting him off the chair. He walks them to the bathroom, then sets Peter on the toilet seat. “Strip for me, I’m going to start the water.” 

“Are you getting in too?” Wade nods and turns on the water. Peter begins to take off his clothes, starting with the fuzzy socks on his feet. Then he takes off his sweatshirt and shirt but leaves the sweatpants on. 

Wade watches, and when his fiance stops, he sighs, “Come on, baby spider, you’ve gotta take those off too. I won’t be mad or look at you differently, I promise.” 

He doesn’t move right away, anxiety-causing him to freeze up. 

After a few minutes, the bath is full and warm, and Wade has begun to strip his clothes off. Seeing Wade take off his clothes comforts Peter a little, for a second he thinks Wade won’t judge him too harshly. 

He takes off his pants, not looking at Wade while he does it. He puts his arms around his waist, hugging himself. Wade gasps, “Baby, what’d you do?” 

Mostly healed cuts line his thighs in a tic tac design, but there are fresh ones from a few hours ago, exes and oh’s in the middle, completing the design. 

“Let’s get those cleaned up first, okay?” Wade’s hand gently pushes him back onto the toilet seat, and he pulls out the hydrogen peroxide from underneath the sink. “How many days did you do this for?” 

“Two.” Peter stares at the edge of the tub, still refusing to meet Wade’s gaze. Wade’s hands wipe his thighs carefully with a cotton cloth to remove dry flakes of blood. He pours some hydrogen peroxide on the cloth and wipes again, this time cleansing the cuts. 

“Get in the tub, baby spider, I’m gonna get you all cleaned up.” He stands, putting the cloth in the sink and the peroxide back in the cabinet. Peter stands, then steps into the tub. Wade follows him in, being sure to sit in the back of the tub, Peter placed in front of him. They sit for a while, Wade caressing his arms lovingly, kissing his neck softly. 

“I love you so much, you know. And I missed you so badly while I was gone.” The words cut Peter like knives, he can’t handle Wade being this nice to him. He fidgets, scratching the cuts on his thighs. “I want to know you’re safe, always, baby spider. You’ve got to take care of yourself while I’m not here. I want you to be around forever.” 

Peter begins to cry. Wade’s generosity is not something he deserves right now. Digging harder into his thigh, he finally draws a little blood. 

Wade immediately grabs his wrist, pulling it out of the water, “Hey hey, don’t do that. Don’t hurt yourself, please.” He places his chin in the crook of Peter’s neck, whispering in his ear, “Baby, give me your hands. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise.” He takes Peter’s small fingers in his own and presses his chest impossibly closer to Peter’s back. 

Peter doesn’t know how long they stay like that, with Wade whispering in his ear, but at some point, he stops crying. 

“Let’s get you to bed, hmm?” He notices that the water is cold now, Wade shivering slightly. “You look like you haven’t slept in a few days.” 

Wade gets him to bed after wrapping a large towel around him. He slides on some boxers and places Peter in the bed. “I’m coming in too, make room.” 

Peter snuggles into his nest, but before he can close himself in, Wade presses against him. “I love you, get some sleep, baby spider.” And the warmth surrounding him is too much, to comfortable. He closes his eyes and is out in a second.


	2. rewrite

Peter’s lying underneath his covers, scared to see the sunlight. At least if he pretends it’s still dark outside, he can say he still has time to sleep. It’s been a few days since his last proper nap. 

Wade proposed a week ago. He should be ecstatic, he should be telling his family and getting ready to start making plans! But he’s not, he can’t. He hasn’t been able to shake the feeling that his betrothed is lying, the feeling that it’s all a cruel joke. If he pulls his head out from under the covers Wade will be there ready to say, “I was kidding, we’re actually breaking up.” 

Wade’s on a job, though. He’s been gone for a few days now. The likelihood of him showing up at home is next to none. 

Peter’s stomach screams for food; he hasn’t eaten since a few hours after Wade left. But the idea of getting out of bed is excruciating, and he doesn’t think he can bear it. 

He could end it right now. He could save Wade the trouble of telling him it’s all a hoax. Wade’s got weapons in the closet, and there are bottles of pills in the bathroom. 

It’d be so easy. 

But again, the thought of leaving his bed is paralyzing.  _ I don’t want to be alive right now.  _ The words are circling in his head, around and around. He gets lost in them. He feels like a swimmer, treading water on the surface of the ocean while the words are stalking him from below like sharks. 

The sound of the front door opening catches his attention. Panic hits, and all he can think about his how he’s not ready.  _ Wade’s home. He can’t see me like this, he can’t do this right now. _

Peter jerks, sucking in sharply. The footsteps grow louder as his fiance gets closer. As the door opens slowly, he sucks in another breath.

“Pete?” Wade’s voice is like a full body shock. “Are you okay under there?” 

Fear solidifies in his spine as Wade takes a few steps into the room. “Please don’t.” He mumbles from under the covers. 

“Don’t what?” Wade sits on the end of bed while pulling away the covers, breaking the illusion of nighttime. 

“Just… don’t.” 

He sighs. And Wade’s under the covers and crowding his space in less than a second, “What’re you talking about, babe. What’s going on?” 

“It’s all a lie, isn’t it?” His eyes are closed while tapping a small beat on the sheets. “You don’t want to be with me…” His voice drifts, losing track of his thoughts. Wade’s body is so warm and all he wants to do is curl up and sleep.

“Peter, how long has it been since you’ve eaten, hmm?” Wade’s fingers slide along his ribcage, he knows he’s a little thinner. 

“A few days.” 

Suddenly. Peter’s being pulled out from the nest he’s made and into the open air. “Have you hurt yourself? Did you take your meds? Peter, when’s the last time you ate?” The questions come at him rapidfire, and his brain can’t keep up. Wade’s voice is soothing, but Peter knows well enough that the larger man is panicking right now. 

“Mmh-” He hums, digging his face into Wade’s shoulder. He walks them to the living room and sets peter on the couch. Big hands cradle his face, forcing Peter to look up. 

Wade’s eyes are clear and wide, staring back at him. “Peter, be honest with me. Am I going to find anything when I get you into the bath?” Wade’s tone sends a bell off in his head. He should say something, tell him that it’s not that bad, that they’re already healing. 

Instead, Peter nods slightly. 

“Baby spider, what happened while I was gone?” 

“I don’t know.” His eyes drop to the carpet, and he begins to play with the drawstring on his sweats. 

“Pete-” Wade shakes his wrist, getting his attention, “Peter, I want you to go sit at the table. I’m going to make food for you. Then we’re going to get in the bath, alright? We’re going to talk about this tomorrow. But right now I need to take care of you.” 

“You won’t need to when you break up with me.” 

“I’m not breaking up with you, baby boy. I love you too much.” Wade taps Peter’s cheek lightly with his left hand, “Come up, baby spider. Time for food.” 

He follows obediently, standing from the couch and padding to the table. Maybe the heartbreak will be less devastating if he does as he’s told, maybe Wade will go easy on him. 

Peter sits, making himself small enough to also put his feet on the chair, and rests his chin on his knees. “Pancakes sound good?” Wade ruffles his hair a little when passing by. 

“I’m not hungry.” 

“Pancakes, it is.” Wade doesn’t miss a beat, walking to the cabinet for the ingredients. Then he reaches for the fridge door, pulling it open to grab the milk, butter and eggs. 

“So this job I was on, guy was a Class-A asshole, right? Covered in gang tattoos, had questionable white substances in his possession all the time.” Wade swings around, reaching for a mixing bowl and pan. He looks up at Peter for just a second before continuing, “Someone wanted to pay me to take out their daughter’s boyfriend. I guess they thought the guy was stealing money from them, because he had a few questionable tattoos? Why is that always the response people have? Just because someone has ink, does not mean they’re a thug!” Wade forgets he’s holding the pan and bowl for a second, and waves his hand in the air, dropping one. It hits the tile with a clang. “Shit, sorry Petey, I need to pay attention to the story. Anyways, I’m nearly done, have the headshot lined up and everything, when I get a text from the buyer saying that it’s the wrong guy! Apparently the butler was caught on camera stealing money from their safe! So my job got cancelled, and that’s why I’m home early.”

Peter will always thank Wade for his ability to fill a silent space, because in the sunlight, the silence nearly drowns him. Hearing Wade move through the kitchen, spilling his guts about this job, is grounding. He’s going to miss this. 

His eyes drift to the window, where a dove sits on the windowsill, cooing. “It’s 7am, baby spider, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Wade chimes, the sound of an egg cracking behind him. 

He only hums in response, still looking at the window. Time passes quickly and not at all, Peter zoning in and out a few times to the sound of a pan sizzling.

“Here you go, Petey.” Wade sets a plate down in front of him, stacked high with pancakes. A glass of orange juice is placed next to it, “Eat up!” He stares at the plate, then, slowly, picks up his fork. Wade’s watching intently out of the corner of his eye. 

A thought comes to mind as he takes his first bite. “This is a nice last meal before we break up.” God, these pancakes are divine! He better enjoy them if this is the last time he’s going to taste Wade’s cooking. He shovels in a few more bites, his mouth full and bulging.

“Peter, look at me.” Peter’s posture immediately straightens at Wade’s tone. “I know the thoughts are taking over, but I love you so much, okay?” He taps the table in front of Peter once, harshly, keeping his attention. He swallows rapidly, trying not to choke. “You know they’re just thoughts, right?” 

“I want it to go away, Wade. Just get it over with so I can feel better.” Peter wraps his right arm around himself, feeling small again. The movement causes Wade to get up, walk over, and hug him. 

“Let’s go get in the bath, huh? You can finish eating later.” Wade’s arms secure more tightly around him, lifting him off the chair. He walks them to the bathroom, setting Peter down onto the toilet seat. “Strip for me, I’m going to start the water.” 

“Are you getting in too?” Wade nods, turning on the water. He begins to take off his clothes, starting with the fuzzy socks on his feet. Then te takes off his sweatshirt and shirt, but leaves the sweatpants off. 

Wade watches, and when his fiance stops, he sighs, “Come on, baby spider, you’ve gotta take those off too. I won’t be mad or look at you differently, I promise.” 

He doesn’t move right away, anxiety causing him to freeze up.

After a few minutes, the bath is full and warm, and Wade has begun to strip his own clothes off. Seeing Wade take off his own clothes comforts Peter a little, for a second he thinks Wade won’t judge him too harshly. 

He takes off his pants, not looking at Wade while he does it. He puts his arms around his waist, hugging himself. Wade gasps, “What’d you do, Petey?” 

Mostly healed cuts line his thighs in a tic tac design, but there are fresh ones from a few hours ago, exes and oh’s in the middle, completing the design. 

“Let’s get those cleaned up first, okay?” Wade’s hand gently pushes him back onto the toilet seat, and he pulls out the hydrogen peroxide from underneath the sink. “How many days did you do this for?” 

“Two.” Peter stares at the edge of the tub, still refusing to meet Wade’s gaze. Wade’s hands wipe his thighs carefully with a cotton cloth to remove dry flakes of blood. He pours some hydrogen peroxide on the cloth and wipes again, this time cleansing the cuts. 

“Get in the tub, baby spider, I’m gonna get you all cleaned up.” He stands, putting the cloth in the sink and the peroxide back in the cabinet. Peter stands, then steps into the tub. Wade follows him in, being sure to sit in the back of the tub, Peter placed in front of him. They sit for a while, Wade caressing his arms lovingly, kissing his neck softly. 

“I love you so much, you know. And I missed you so badly while I was gone.” The words cut Peter like knives, he can’t handle Wade being this nice to him. He fidgets, scratching the cuts on his thighs. “I want to know you’re safe, always, baby spider. You’ve got to take care of yourself while I’m not here. I want you to be around forever.” 

Peter begins to cry. Wade’s generosity is not something he deserves right now. Digging harder into his thigh, he finally draws a little blood. 

Wade immediately grabs his wrist, pulling it out of the water, “Hey hey, don’t do that. Don’t hurt yourself, please.” He places his chin in the crook of Peter’s neck, whispering in his ear, “Give me your hands. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise.” He takes Peter’s small fingers in his own, and presses his chest impossibly closer to Peter’s back. 

Peter doesn’t know how long they stay like that, with Wade whispering in his ear, but at some point he stops crying. 

“Let’s get you to bed, hmm?” He notices that the water is cold now, Wade shivering slightly. “You look like you haven’t slept in a few days.” 

Wade gets him to bed after wrapping a large towel around him. He slides on some boxers, and places Peter in the bed. “I’m coming in too, make room.” 

Peter snuggles into his nest, but before he can close himself in, Wade presses against him. “I love you, get some sleep, baby spider.” And the warmth surrounding him is to much, to comfortable. He closes his eyes and is out in a second. 


End file.
